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North Central Wisconsin Senior & Portrait Photographers James & Katie Stokes Located in Medford, Wisconsin // Personal    

Category Archives: Personal

Marriage Advice: Year Twelve

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January 30, 2020

/ James Stokes

Katie and I have been married for 12 years! (gulp). I think that means we are getting older but I believe that is a good thing. I look back at our 21/20-year-old selves and think about how naive we were in just about every aspect of our lives. There was a reason NO ONE thought our marriage was a good idea, except for us. At the time, we had no game plan beyond that; we would figure things out as we went… and we did, but not without making a TON of mistakes. Thankfully, none of them were very costly, except for a $20,000 tax accounting error. Yes, 4 zeros!!! In spite of our mistakes, God’s grace in our lives and our belief that marriage is a lifelong commitment, we’ve made through nine babies, four houses/moves, one apartment, two dogs, two cats, fair fish, aquatic frogs, homeschooling, three businesses, job-loss, spinal meningitis, countless viral bugs, college, and I’m just scratching the surface. Life is crazy/beautiful. Sometimes more crazy than beautiful.

We wish I could sum up the total worth of what we have learned in what is just a drop in the bucket of the total breadth of our lives, Lord willing, (we want to be those people who annoy our children long into our 90s) however, the only word that seems to fit is PERSEVERANCE.

Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.

Over the last 10 years, Katie and I have had the honor and privilege of photographing hundreds of weddings side by side. Still, we can recall specific memories and couples who brought us tears or made our faces hurt with laughter. In part, we’ve believed we have had one of the greatest opportunities afforded to our generation; investing in marriage.

Frequently, we hear our couples say that their wedding day was a haze of fleeting moments amidst the crowd of family and friends. That is what emotions sometimes do, but that’s where we come in. There is a beauty within those subtle moments and our passion over the last decade has been to capture the phenomenon that is your wedding in stunning timeless photographs that you will cherish for a lifetime and generations that follow.

Together we create a first family’s first heirlooms; blending classic photojournalism with a fine art approach, our goal is to capture editorial-style images that can be displayed in anthology form.

We admit that we haven’t always invested in our marriage. We have only gone away a handful of times together. Each trip has been like a reset point; a moment to just pause. We’re able to reflect, find quiet, and process. This is so crucial and we’re so thankful for that time because it is so rare.

Rest. Something we’ve lost in our culture. Real unplugged rest. We’re finding balance too. How do we juggle #allthethings? Somethings are always in the air while one thing rests in your hand only for a moment. One really can’t multitask. You’re either doing one thing or you’re doing another, however, some of us have found ways to live in alignment largely with the help of technology. But there is a point, we all have it, where the noise and the productivity must end. We must be still. Wait. Listen.

I am so bad as this.

Maybe you’re like me. You feel lazy the instant you sit down and your phone isn’t in your hand or you don’t have a book or journal in your hand.

I was convicted of this as I reviewed my finances for 2019 and began planning for 2020. I’ve tried to set aside time each morning for devotions, prayer, meditation, and reflection and have come across the verses in scripture that speak of living by faith. What does that practically look like as I’m trying to make sense of ones and zeros, spreadsheets, and taxes?

Do I try harder? Should I give more? Should I work more? Should I work less? Maybe, I should stop trying altogether?

The silence only lasts so long in our home and listening for an answer from the Almighty isn’t as epic as I would sometimes like. Followers often don’t get Pauline encounters with Abba Father. Often it is much more subtle after long periods of nothing.

Peace. Joshua 1:9 – A promise that LORD our God is always with us. 2 Peter 1:3 – All things that pertain to life and godliness he has already granted us. This may not mean that everything is going to go our way, it most certainly will not, but when troubles come we are to remain joyful. “Let perseverance/steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

So, I pray. I continue to diligently work unto the LORD who has ordained good works for us to do. I still plan, but I give God the giant eraser, praying his will be done for his glory and not my own.

We continue to look for the beauty that surrounds us each day in the mundane and seek to find ways to remain grateful for all that we have, being content. This in and of itself is a daily struggle as we look to set goals for our life and aspire to bigger and better things.

Paul writes the early church that they are to love one another; even more than what they already had yet their ambition and goal was to live a quiet life dependent on no one. Isn’t that the goal for those of us who are entrepreneurs. We dream of self-sufficiency, free of debt, and make the freedom to write our days, but we can get caught up on the self and forget about the one who made us. We are his and we’re called to love others, not fall more in love with ourselves and the things we acquire.

Self-care is not the same as self-love. Marriages need some of one and less of the other. You can’t just take care of yourself and expect that your marriage is going to thrive, but what you can do is chase after the quiet times with God and his word and look for ways to love each other more, which often looks like the opposite of self-love. My wife is better at this than me. She just serves. Endlessly. But each evening we each take time for ourselves after longs days of schooling, work, meals, kids, and running. We realize this is the opposite for most people, they spend their time together at the end of the day, not us. We’re weird. But it works.

We’re still learning what it means to put God first and our marriage second. We’re still triaging the rest; whatever or whoever is bleeding gets the most attention. For all the ways we are insufficient, grace is enough for us and is enough for you too!

Blessings to you all this year!

James & Katie Stokes

Couples, For Photographers, Lifestyle, Personal / Faith, Marriage / Comment

Things You Should Tell Your Wedding Photographer

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September 27, 2018

/ James Stokes

What you should ask your wedding photographer

Your wedding day is one of the most beautiful celebrations in your life. Finally, all of those details that you’ve planned come together, and your friends and family surround you to celebrate this next chapter in your life. You want to make sure your wedding is how you imagined, while never missing a moment. This is why you should hire a wedding photographer.

Your wedding photographer does more than just take images of your special day. It’s your photographer’s job to capture all of the moments that make your wedding perfect. To make sure you’re on the same page as your photographer, it’s imperative to sit down and discuss what vision you had in mind for your wedding. From your ceremony itinerary to the decor you’ve chosen, the more information your photographer has, the better. Here are a few aspects of your wedding that could be important to discuss with your photographer:

Begin With Your Budget

Wedding planning always begins with a budget. Once you have planned your wedding timeline and begun looking at your various expenses, you should have an estimate for how much to spend on your wedding photographer. After you’ve decided on a budget, it’s important to meet with potential photographers and go over what budget you have set aside for wedding photos. Look at what packages wedding photographers offer, and be willing to discuss those package options when first meeting. Photographer’s expenses vary and depending on what you have in mind, adjustments to your budget may be needed. This is also the perfect opportunity to ask any questions about pricing, what your expectations are, and to see more of their portfolio.

Your Wedding Itinerary

Once you’ve finalized the order of your wedding ceremony, you should give a copy to your photographer right away. This allows your photographer to make a timeline for shots and plan where to be for those special moments at your wedding. Go through your itinerary with your photographer and explain what ideas you have, as well as ask any suggestions they may have. We include this with all of our collections and even created an online Bride & Groom Questionnaire to help us get all this necessary information from our clients.

The Venue

Saying, “I do” to the perfect venue, can be difficult. You want to make sure the decor will match your theme, the size will suit your guest list, and most importantly, will look stunning in your wedding photos. Taking your photographer to the venue is a great idea for making sure your wedding photos are a success. Express what ideas you have, ask what your photographer’s thoughts are, and explain your vision for your wedding day. Seeing the venue before the wedding gives your photographer the ability to plan for the best lighting, anticipate possible shots, and offer you ideas that you may not have thought of. While we often are not able to go to venues with couples, we like to schedule your engagement session in the same season and around where you will have your wedding to get a feel for all the possibilities we will have on your wedding day. We also like to do a lot of google hangouts!

What They Should Wear

After you’ve decided the dress code for your wedding, be sure to let your photographer know. You don’t want your photographer to show up in jeans and a t-shirt if your wedding is a black-tie event, just as you wouldn’t want your photographer to show up in a three-piece suit for a wedding that is casual. Keep in mind your photographer will be constantly moving so attire that is suitable but practical is more ideal.
This is a big one! We really try and match the guests at your wedding. So if it is a backyard wedding in July, you will likely see us in shorts and sandals. We shoot better when we’re most comfortable. Similarly, we like to dress up for Country Club weddings and the like.

Country Club Wedding

Any Guests with Restrictions

Look at your guest list and communicate with your photographer guests that might need special accommodations. From guests in wheelchairs to others that have seating preferences, make sure you inform your photographer so they can include these guests in the shots from your ceremony.

The Moments You Don’t Want Photographed

Most brides want all aspects of their wedding to be photographed, but there may be a few moments when you might request to not have a camera present. Whether it’s a private moment shared with a parent or friend, or transitions between the ceremony to the wedding, it’s essential to communicate which parts of your wedding you would prefer to keep more private. We totally get it if you want to spend a few moments without any cameras. Katie is a bit of an introvert, so of all people, she totally understands.

Hiring your wedding photographer is one of the biggest decisions you will make when it comes to wedding planning. After all of the planning and celebrating, it’s enjoyable to look back at the pictures of your special day and remember how warm those moments felt. A word of advice, don’t give your photographer a shot list don’t give your photographer a shot list instead, let them capture the sincere and beautiful moments that naturally unfold on your wedding day. On the day of your wedding, we want it to feel like your close friends just showed up with their really nice cameras.

For Brides, Personal / Photographer / Comment

Romanic Wedding Photos

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February 14, 2017

/ James Stokes

Romantic Wedding Photos

Valentine’s Day. Very few know the reason for the Holiday, so being the history buff I am, I looked it up only to find several conflicting stories all deeply shrouded in mystery from antiquity. Thanks to some surviving hagiographical records, we’re able to compile the various records of a man or men named Valentine and combine them into one identity and merged with a pagan fertility festival which we celebrate today in the form of pink and red hearts and roses, chocolates, and possibly engagement rings!

I like to think that there is always a bit of truth in legends. In short, we celebrate a day named after St. Valentine who allegedly married young Christian couples in secret due Emperor Claudius II outlawing marriage because he thought that married men made poor soldiers. Accounts state that Valentine broke the law and also attempted to convert the Emperor to Christianity. This ultimately culminated in his demise outside the Flaminian Gate.

In later years, the Roman Catholic church would turn the story of a priest & a bishop into a patron Saint for bookkeepers and lovers alike. In an interesting personal twist, a common ancestor of both Katie and myself, poet Geoffrey Chaucer (16th great grandfather), may have single-handedly created the romantic tradition we know today with his work “Parlement of Foules,” in which he stated that birds and human find a mate on Seynt Valentine’s Day.

For whatever reason, we like to remind those closest to us that we love, care, and are thinking of them on this special day in February. I always look forward to the vintage cards my grandmother sends my children, a tradition she started with me and has kept over the last 30 years. I am reminded of how fortunate I am to have been loved by so many throughout my life. This is a gift I have often taken for granted. Not everyone is so fortunate and blessed to love and be loved in return.

My wife, Katie, knows wholeheartedly that I am not the biggest fan of this American Holiday, but maybe that was because I never understood the story behind and the personal attachment to its origins. As a believer, we embrace the very real possibility that our faith will have negative earthly ramifications for following Jesus. We’re blessed to live in a country where we’re able to worship how we like and marry whom we love. 

Special thanks to all of our 32 Couples from 2016 for reminding us why we love what we do so much and Happy Valentine’s Day! – The Stokes

Couples, Personal, Wedding / Faith, Kiss, Midwest, Romantic, Rustic, Valentine's Day, Weddings, Wisconsin / 1 Comment

Emotional Wedding Photos

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February 10, 2017

/ James Stokes

Wedding days are filled with a bundle of emotions and often ones you can’t really predict. They wait right beneath the surface and it isn’t until we see the faces of the ones we love the most do they spill over. These are the moments we want to candidly capture and have it as though we were never there. Being present doesn’t  mean the shutter has to be clicking but waiting and anticipating those moments. Katie and I both have our strengths and this is certainly Katie’s. As a wallflower, she lives for moments like these, just anticipating the perfect moment when the father of the bride sees his daughter for the first time in her wedding dress. As a father, this moment gets me every time. I think about what it will be like when my own daughters get married and how I will be a complete mess and for good reason, they are my babies and I will be giving them away… it will be a happy day and at the same time I will be missing them before they are gone.

Marriage is big, scary, & filled with the unknown. Weddings are a celebration of what it means to dedicate your life to another for life in spite of those fears. This summer I have the chance to give the message at my brother’s wedding. It is something I have been planning for almost a year. Does anyone really remember what was said at their wedding? Maybe not without the help of a videographer, but I know how I want him and his wife to feel; loved and supported. Marriage takes work and families are not off the hook, while they are to take a back seat in letting their children make decisions, it is their right as parents to support the marriage and no longer the individual child they raised. This is hard. Parents can either be absent or overbearing, but for the fortunate, they are encouraging, transparent, and honest. This is worth more than its weight in spiritual gold.

As believers, this means that we will point our children and their spouses to Christ always! There is no greater example of a servant than that of Jesus Christ and our marriages should reflect the glory of our creator. Understanding that marriage was designed to serve as a union within a fallen world breaks the notion that marriages themselves should be perfect. Indeed, we try and make our weddings as flawless as possible, but marriage will be filled with highs and lows and a million imperfections. In those lows and through those mistakes, what will bring us back to a place of contentment and surrender? What will point us back to our promises? We believe that with God’s help and through scripture you will be reminded of your vows and commitment to one another. Psalm 77:11-12 – I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds.

Over the last nine years of marriage, it is so evident how God has poured out His mercy and blessings on us in all His forms. Over time, I am afraid that we will forget all the goodness and trials he has given in order to have us draw closer to him and each other. I like to think that photographs and journals help protect against that. We are reminded every day of His goodness and the blessings we’re surrounded by. Our marriage is not perfect and our children are not angels, but God’s Grace is sufficient for all our failings as spouses and as parents. It is our hope that our couples would know Jesus personally and lead God fearing lives that raise up disciples for the Lord.

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build labor in vain.

This is from one of my favorite chapters in Psalms which reminds me that children are a heritage from the Lord. What a gift we have to be able to marry the one whom God has chosen for us and to live in a place where we can serve and worship him freely. God ultimately wants us to delight in Him and to chase after him. So very often we misplace God for our spouse and our spouse was never designed to replace the creator of the Universe. We simply are not big enough to fulfill the needs of the human soul, we cannot be the happiness source of another. This is freeing! You don’t have to be EVERYTHING to your other half, you simply have to show them who is worthy of all of your praise. John 1:3

So, rejoice. Breathe. Laugh. Cry. Be silly. Your wedding day should be filled with hope and joy, much like our blessed hope in the day Christ will return in all His glory. Titus 2:11-14

  

Personal, Wedding / Candid, Central Wisconsin, Ceremony, Emotion, Emotional, Faith, Father of the Bride, First Dances, Laughter, Marriage, Mother of the Groom, Photo Journalism, Wedding Day, Wedding Receptions / Comment

Christmas 2016

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December 27, 2016

/ James Stokes

California Sequoia National Park

This year I turned 30! I have been looking forward to this for a long time. Weird, I know, but somehow entering my 30’s psychologically has given me more permission to be at peace.

My 20’s were spent hustling, graduating, building, growing our family and simply just surviving. Seven years of school, marriage, mortgages, two businesses and seven children will make you feel like you’re running a race with no end in sight. On my birthday I made a choice to allow my 30’s to be filled with many more moments of contentment and joy. God has me and it has taken me thirty years to believe that; to rest in that, but not without tension.

I am reminded of the character Billy from my favorite book, “Where the Red Fern Grows,” who after promising his dog that if they treed a coon he would do the rest in chopping down the tree. He finds himself staring up at the biggest sycamore in the Ozarks. Feeling nearly defeated before he started, he looks down at his two precious Redbone Coonhounds, who he had saved and sacrificed for. Remembering his promise to cut down any tree they put a coon in, he prays.

“Please God, give me the strength to finish the job. I don’t want to leave the big tree like that. Please help me finish the job.”

The picture of a son begging his father to help him is exactly how we should come before our Heavenly Father. Like Billy, I have asked God to finish the work he has started in me and in my family. Billy easily could have given up and walked away from the challenge of having to cut down a hundred-year-old tree just for a raccoon, but he kept his promise to Old Dan and Little Ann, a promise he couldn’t keep without some help from the Almighty and his command over all of creation.

Whatever you ask in the name of Jesus, God will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  (John 14:13)

God answers those who ask in faith, out of dependence on Him & in the name of Jesus, yet His Grace extends to all who believe. Very clearly: If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

This verse shakes me to my core, simply because I do not ask enough. Somehow I rely on my own human strength and understanding, which is really just Google and the body & mind God has given me in the first place, instead of taking a moment to be a child asking His Heavenly Father for the simplest of requests.

Often I don’t ask God because I simply do not know what to ask God for? It can feel so pointless to simply ask God for things we’re not even sure we should really want in the first place. Maybe you can relate?

I know how God has answered my prayers. I am reminded of his goodness every day, yet I grumble and complain over just about everything that doesn’t go as planned. The shortcomings of a perfectionist are endless.  Blessings often don’t feel like blessings when we’re looking for ways to make them better. I am guilty of this daily and it robs me of joy.

It is impossible to seek God when we’re focused on ourselves. The very nature of self-centeredness puts at enmity with God. We can’t love the world and love Jesus too.

We are called to pray without ceasing; to remain in constant communion with our Heavenly Father, but that requires absolute humility and discipline.

When John sees God’s heavenly throne he is overwhelmed by the majesty of who God is and what he has done. He created all things by his will; we are his created beings designed to bring him glory & praise. I don’t feel like that most days. I’m either a hot mess or think I have it all together and can conquer the world. How do we see ourselves rightly at the throne of God?

The truth is we can’t, not without Jesus.

“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him.” John 6:44a

There is a reason God does the calling because even in our salvation we may boast in ourselves. Eph 2:8 Isn’t that like us, to take credit for something God has done?

It is so easy to point to ourselves. We take every opportunity to tell the world how great we are. Our self-promotion has no limits.

While we’re looking at how ‘great’ humanity is or isn’t, admiring beauty and seeking to be entertained –  we’re distracted, which is the biggest reason I don’t pray. I make everything else more important.

My pride forces me to look for ways to make myself bigger, better, more known and all the while God is whispering to me at the foot of the tree to make yourself smaller. To kneel before Him and give Him everything – really everything. “Yes, even that!”

But how, God? What does that look like? Can I still serve two masters? Matthew 6:24

I am in this constant struggle of despising the hustle and resenting the tension. We have elevated our goals to the status of gods. Hustling to what end? What purpose?

We’re tired. Tired of making much of ourselves. We’re tired of expectations that come before you, God.

Jesus is calling us to himself, even in the barrage of social media, constant entertainment, sports and civil unrest. He isn’t where you would think to look. He is in the brokenness behind the perfectly curated Instagram posts and smiling Christmas cards. Intermingled in the binary code there is truth. In the stillness, He beckons us to deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow Him, especially in our unrefined mess.

Follow in our cultural context doesn’t quite fit what was actually meant when Jesus told the disciples to follow him and become fishers of men.

They left everything they knew. I imagine their nets and boats just sitting there as the waves washed up against the shore. What would it look like to simply drop everything and walk with Jesus? To obey what Jesus teaches?

Would my camera, computer, and phone just remain on my desk? Can I follow you while I fish from shore? Can I bring my camera with? Can a fisherman do art? I am that disciple who asks compromising questions always looking for a loophole.

I ask these questions because I don’t know the answers and because I want my sin too. In this season of life, so much seems to come before the Kingdom of God. We’re spending the majority of our lives in a virtual reality perfecting a facade. (Jesus had some pretty strong words for people who appeared to be beautiful on the outside but were a mess on the inside.)

Do we spend our days seeking the validation of others, searching after likes and followers to fill a void that was only meant to be filled by the awesomeness of our Heavenly Father?

I am fervently praying that my life, my family, my business would all come last in comparison to Christ. I need prayer because this isn’t easy. There are so many tangible obligations that appear so important and take precedence over what has been demanded of my life.

As Christmas draws near, I reflect on a baby who was born in the lowest of circumstances who changed the world and all eternity. I am in awe of His story and how all of creation points to Jesus as the Savior of the World. I am looking up this Christmas at a tree. A Cross so much bigger than I am prepared to carry. I must be confident that he who began a good work, will carry in on to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

May all that I do point to Jesus and may my children Praise His name forever! This is my fervent prayer.

 

Merry Christmas

 

Personal / Faith / Comment

LIFE REVERED

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August 15, 2016

/ James Stokes

www.james-stokes.com | James Stokes Photography, LLC

Today I am moved by just how awesome God is. I know we hear that word often, sometimes to describe pizza or the latest lipstick but the truth is NOTHING compares to the wonders of our creator. The more time I spend away from the things that distract me from His word the more at peace I feel.

I am a person who almost always feels like they are being pulled in a million different directions, pleasing, serving, perfecting. Much of this has robbed me of joy due to a lack of prioritizing God first. I still and always need His Grace in this, but he has been so patient with me, always reminding me of how much he loves me through the stories and promises he is weaving into my life. As I approach 30, I can see God’s plan, discipline, trials, and blessings in my life much more clearly.

He moves when we are still and works when are  patiently waiting on him. This is the Christian walk; trusting in the Lord. For some, it is years, decades, but always he is faithful and just. I find myself complaining when the smallest of things don’t go the way I had planned and I am reminded of Joseph and his time in prison. My molehills are put rightly into perspective in this moment when I take time to ponder on what is eternal, what is most important!

As I begin to prepare for my brother’s wedding 1 year from today, I think about what I will say to a captive audience as I deliver the message. What words will be remembered years from now? How can I make Christ the center? That is always the goal; making less of ourselves and much of Christ. There is so much freedom in this.

The comparison game ends at the feet of Jesus. None of us are worthy or can claim our own greatness. We are clay, made of earth and poured into by the Holy Spirit.

But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 2 Corinthians 4:7

While we may be easily broken, God has entrusted the Good News to us as a vessel reminding me again that I am not my own. The gospel is not merely a message of truth that confronts our hearts, but an explosive power that turns a person’s life upside down. How has your life been turned upside down by Jesus?

Maybe you’re in the midst of planning your wedding or simply a person looking for inspiration. I challenge you to make a choice to live a life in total reverence to your creator and Heavenly Father. The whole world comes into focus through the lens of God at the center and  as the author and artist of our life. Through trial and blessing, he remains steadfast, drawing us closer to him.

Look for ways to be a vessel; ask to be molded in the likeness of his son Jesus and search for beauty beyond the screens that permeate our daily routines. God broke the mold with you, with all of us. We’re fearfully and wonderfully made for his purpose. How will you live a LIFE REVERED?

Personal / Bible, Christ, Faith, God, Jesus, Life Revered, Personal / Comment

Rustic Romance | Northern Wisconsin Wedding Inspiration

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May 12, 2016

/ James Stokes

Love is our greatest Adventure!

If there is anything Katie and I have learned over the course of our marriage, it is that love is dangerous. It is uncertain, messy, and complicated – it requires sacrifice and compromise. This isn’t a message we hear often in our culture or even during a commitment ceremony. There are famous words quoted and bible verses read, but what does any of it really mean? Can any words really prepare us for what lies ahead?

Love, like a hike up a rocky mountain, takes hard work, preparation, perseverance, and a the right equipment, but most of all it needs endurance. The type of endurance that is steadfast and determined to reach the top. We’re not always sure of what we will discover on our journey, but we know that what we will be shown is better than staying at the bottom looking up only imagining the incredible view.

For those who reach the top – enduring the climb together, there is a great reward! In part, it is the life we dream of – that of growing old together, seeing our children have incredible adventures, and seeking their own mountains to climb. But when we look back down the path that brought us here what do we see?

For us, we see mistakes. Our failures – our skinned knees, backsliding, and rockslides. In our brokenness, our oneness – there is beauty. It is part of a story woven in grace and rooted in Truth that surpasses all understanding. “For two are better than one.” It is in  this design that we seek after the one we want to spend our life with – the one we would die for – the person we’re desperately trying to become.

This feels heavy. A weight beyond which any of us are capable. How can we ever measure up – filling the needs of another? Our souls long for something – Someone greater. We seek because we were made to search – made to climb – made to follow. It is written on our hearts. It is more than a feeling or an obligation, somehow it is hardwired into every fiber of who we are. Marriage is a covenant, a promise, that while there is breath, we continue to point each other upward towards the prize.

As you begin your journey together, we encourage you to prepare for an incredible adventure – you’re in this together and you’re part of a story bigger than ourselves filled more beauty than we ever could imagine.

 

Special Thanks to Jake Andersen & Forest Springs for allowing us to shoot on location.
Commercial, Couples, For Photographers, Personal, Press, Wedding / Comment

How to become a Professional Photographer Part 1

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March 23, 2016

/ James Stokes

How to Become a Professional Wedding Photographer

This June will mark our 6th year as full-time professional photographers. Even writing that causes me to feel anxious. Breathe. Trust. Move forward. After quitting our jobs we’re left with much of a choice, we were all in. It was do or die time. Ramen noodle time. No really, we were terrified and filled with self-doubt. (This doesn’t magically go away I might add.) We were both still in college working days, weekends, and finishing up our degrees. O’ how I don’t miss those early years of very little sleep, toddlers, and weekly papers. Maybe some of you can relate. Youtube becomes the parent/teacher you never had because reading manuals and renting outdated books from the library just isn’t cutting it. Bootstrapping becomes your way of life. Credit Cards and student loans are the angel investors you don’t have and Dave Ramsey is the condemning voice you hear every time you make a new equipment purchase from B&H.

But… there was hope. Hope that one day we would be able to live the life we always dreamed of and create a business that would not only serve others but fulfill our calling as parent-tographers. For us, it wasn’t about having the freedom to travel the world or spend our mornings together in coffee shops, we simply wanted to be able to raise our children the way we had always dreamed.

Growing up on a farm (James) gave me a distorted and utopian view of the world. My parents were almost always around and if we couldn’t see them, we trusted that they were only a dinner bell’s sound away. When my brothers and I weren’t frolicking in the fields with calves or catching tadpoles in the pond, we were collecting eggs and helping mother put clothing out on the line. Okay, maybe that isn’t exactly what happened, but for me, it was freedom and that feeling is what I wanted to give my children, but without the burden and lifestyle that comes with having to feed hundreds of farm animals in the wee hours of the morning during Wisconsin’s harsh winters.

Having watched both my father and grandfather do this their entire lives gave me a great appreciation for what it means to truly earn a living, to work with your hands and to be proud of what you do. There was always something to be done and in order for my brothers and I to be able to attend private school, my mother cleaned houses – often after she had cleaned our own. Yep, pretty incredible if you ask me. I don’t know how they did it and to be honest, I don’t know how we do it. I am reminded daily of how dependent and truly needy we are.

Photography was always something I did. From the age of 6, I could be seen most often with a camera around my neck. Photographs shaped me. They were how I learned about who I was and where I came from. Images and the art of creating them taught me how to see the world. It was magical and expensive. With anticipation I remember begging my parents to go and pick up my film from the local Walgreens, hoping for that one shot to be in focus. So much has changed and I am thankful for the valuable hours spent in a dark room during high school and for the teachers and close friends who encouraged me, evening allowing me the freedom to learn uninhibited by expectations and often arbitrary grades. I must admit I was terribly spoiled by my small town upbringing. Had it not been for those Media classes and for a full summer of taking photographs with our German exchange student, I doubt I ever would have pursued photography as a career. Scary to think of where I would be had it not been for those incredibly valuable experiences and relationships that fostered my love of creating images.

So why share this? For all of us, there is a backstory, a reason we fell in love with photography. That story, our WHY matters. It will be the foundation we fall back on during hard times, during times of self-doubt, and our why will come into question after we make our first big mistake. The time we didn’t advance our film or our hard drive crashes with all of our client’s images. No amount of education can ever prepare you for how you will react in times of failure, but having these experiences and learning from them will be what causes you to grow not only as a person but as an artist and ultimately as a professional business owner.

With risk, there is always a chance of failure or unfortunate consequences. It is our fear of the unknown and our own fear of failure that prevents us from taking risks. Change is scary. Fear of what others might think, rejection prevents many of us from putting ourselves out there. Criticism either from ourselves or others discourages us before we even start. The negative voices the project into the future all the ways in which you are most likely to fail. We second guess ourselves for the sake of reason and sometimes never return to our original feelings of courage that could have carried us through to taking that first leap.

I don’t pretend to be brave or courageous. I don’t think I’m the best nor do I feel terribly qualified to teach anyone anything and yet I do. I coach a sport I was mediocre at. I educate business people who are smarter than me. I volunteer for things I feel ill-equipped to handle. I say yes often before thinking of the consequences. I have learned that controlling me fear and forcing myself to do something that scares me is the most important lesson I have learned from being a professional photographer. I wear the hat that is required of me to do my job well. What I lack in expertise I make up for in passion. Zeal can take you a long way and I believe the consistent pursuit of a tangible goal with a plan will often result in success when we define those terms for yourself.

Success is what we make it! We are not defined by what we do or how much money we make. We each must each decide what our own pursuit of happiness looks like. What is our light at the end of the tunnel? For me, it has always been the journey. We have to choose to be happy and fulfilled even in our times of failure and struggle. We can’t say to ourselves, “I will be happy when…” Our joy must come from outside ourselves, our expectations, our own talent. If it doesn’t we may reach our goals without ever truly being satisfied.

My purpose extends beyond simply being a creative, father, and husband – I am a believer. My faith has shown me that Risk for Christ is Right. Paul writes, “It is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Phil. 1:20–21)

For Katie and I, honoring Christ, magnifying Christ, making much of Christ is the meaning of our life! It is a purpose that extends beyond just our personal life; it is at the foundation of our business and the goal that supersedes all the rest. At the end of the day, did we serve Christ by caring for others well? Did our work point to Christ? It is so easy to self-promote and to make much of ourselves, but when we look at what we’re able to do and how very little of it has anything to do with us, we realize our great need and dependence on our creator and savior.

The greatest passion we will ever know is that of Christ’s death and resurrection. The Bible tells us that Jesus endured the cross “for the joy that was set before him” (Heb. 12:2) Therefore, the greatest act of love was enabled by hope of joy beyond the grave. We want others to know this joy, to experience the promises of God, even when life seems most uncertain and everything around you is falling apart. There is a peace that surpasses all understanding when we place our hope in Christ.

Who will you put your hope in? Who is going to help guide you through your discouraging failures? Who will you praise for your successes?  It is our hope that as you create a plan for becoming a professional photographer and as you search for answers to your questions, you may find the ultimate answer and purpose for your life.

Stay tuned for more about our journey and practical advice on becoming a professional photographer.

For Photographers, Personal / Business, Faith / 1 Comment

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