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North Central Wisconsin Senior & Portrait Photographers James & Katie Stokes Located in Medford, Wisconsin // For Photographers    

Category Archives: For Photographers

Marriage Advice: Year Twelve

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January 30, 2020

/ James Stokes

Katie and I have been married for 12 years! (gulp). I think that means we are getting older but I believe that is a good thing. I look back at our 21/20-year-old selves and think about how naive we were in just about every aspect of our lives. There was a reason NO ONE thought our marriage was a good idea, except for us. At the time, we had no game plan beyond that; we would figure things out as we went… and we did, but not without making a TON of mistakes. Thankfully, none of them were very costly, except for a $20,000 tax accounting error. Yes, 4 zeros!!! In spite of our mistakes, God’s grace in our lives and our belief that marriage is a lifelong commitment, we’ve made through nine babies, four houses/moves, one apartment, two dogs, two cats, fair fish, aquatic frogs, homeschooling, three businesses, job-loss, spinal meningitis, countless viral bugs, college, and I’m just scratching the surface. Life is crazy/beautiful. Sometimes more crazy than beautiful.

We wish I could sum up the total worth of what we have learned in what is just a drop in the bucket of the total breadth of our lives, Lord willing, (we want to be those people who annoy our children long into our 90s) however, the only word that seems to fit is PERSEVERANCE.

Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.

Over the last 10 years, Katie and I have had the honor and privilege of photographing hundreds of weddings side by side. Still, we can recall specific memories and couples who brought us tears or made our faces hurt with laughter. In part, we’ve believed we have had one of the greatest opportunities afforded to our generation; investing in marriage.

Frequently, we hear our couples say that their wedding day was a haze of fleeting moments amidst the crowd of family and friends. That is what emotions sometimes do, but that’s where we come in. There is a beauty within those subtle moments and our passion over the last decade has been to capture the phenomenon that is your wedding in stunning timeless photographs that you will cherish for a lifetime and generations that follow.

Together we create a first family’s first heirlooms; blending classic photojournalism with a fine art approach, our goal is to capture editorial-style images that can be displayed in anthology form.

We admit that we haven’t always invested in our marriage. We have only gone away a handful of times together. Each trip has been like a reset point; a moment to just pause. We’re able to reflect, find quiet, and process. This is so crucial and we’re so thankful for that time because it is so rare.

Rest. Something we’ve lost in our culture. Real unplugged rest. We’re finding balance too. How do we juggle #allthethings? Somethings are always in the air while one thing rests in your hand only for a moment. One really can’t multitask. You’re either doing one thing or you’re doing another, however, some of us have found ways to live in alignment largely with the help of technology. But there is a point, we all have it, where the noise and the productivity must end. We must be still. Wait. Listen.

I am so bad as this.

Maybe you’re like me. You feel lazy the instant you sit down and your phone isn’t in your hand or you don’t have a book or journal in your hand.

I was convicted of this as I reviewed my finances for 2019 and began planning for 2020. I’ve tried to set aside time each morning for devotions, prayer, meditation, and reflection and have come across the verses in scripture that speak of living by faith. What does that practically look like as I’m trying to make sense of ones and zeros, spreadsheets, and taxes?

Do I try harder? Should I give more? Should I work more? Should I work less? Maybe, I should stop trying altogether?

The silence only lasts so long in our home and listening for an answer from the Almighty isn’t as epic as I would sometimes like. Followers often don’t get Pauline encounters with Abba Father. Often it is much more subtle after long periods of nothing.

Peace. Joshua 1:9 – A promise that LORD our God is always with us. 2 Peter 1:3 – All things that pertain to life and godliness he has already granted us. This may not mean that everything is going to go our way, it most certainly will not, but when troubles come we are to remain joyful. “Let perseverance/steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

So, I pray. I continue to diligently work unto the LORD who has ordained good works for us to do. I still plan, but I give God the giant eraser, praying his will be done for his glory and not my own.

We continue to look for the beauty that surrounds us each day in the mundane and seek to find ways to remain grateful for all that we have, being content. This in and of itself is a daily struggle as we look to set goals for our life and aspire to bigger and better things.

Paul writes the early church that they are to love one another; even more than what they already had yet their ambition and goal was to live a quiet life dependent on no one. Isn’t that the goal for those of us who are entrepreneurs. We dream of self-sufficiency, free of debt, and make the freedom to write our days, but we can get caught up on the self and forget about the one who made us. We are his and we’re called to love others, not fall more in love with ourselves and the things we acquire.

Self-care is not the same as self-love. Marriages need some of one and less of the other. You can’t just take care of yourself and expect that your marriage is going to thrive, but what you can do is chase after the quiet times with God and his word and look for ways to love each other more, which often looks like the opposite of self-love. My wife is better at this than me. She just serves. Endlessly. But each evening we each take time for ourselves after longs days of schooling, work, meals, kids, and running. We realize this is the opposite for most people, they spend their time together at the end of the day, not us. We’re weird. But it works.

We’re still learning what it means to put God first and our marriage second. We’re still triaging the rest; whatever or whoever is bleeding gets the most attention. For all the ways we are insufficient, grace is enough for us and is enough for you too!

Blessings to you all this year!

James & Katie Stokes

Couples, For Photographers, Lifestyle, Personal / Faith, Marriage / Comment

Rustic Romance | Northern Wisconsin Wedding Inspiration

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May 12, 2016

/ James Stokes

Love is our greatest Adventure!

If there is anything Katie and I have learned over the course of our marriage, it is that love is dangerous. It is uncertain, messy, and complicated – it requires sacrifice and compromise. This isn’t a message we hear often in our culture or even during a commitment ceremony. There are famous words quoted and bible verses read, but what does any of it really mean? Can any words really prepare us for what lies ahead?

Love, like a hike up a rocky mountain, takes hard work, preparation, perseverance, and a the right equipment, but most of all it needs endurance. The type of endurance that is steadfast and determined to reach the top. We’re not always sure of what we will discover on our journey, but we know that what we will be shown is better than staying at the bottom looking up only imagining the incredible view.

For those who reach the top – enduring the climb together, there is a great reward! In part, it is the life we dream of – that of growing old together, seeing our children have incredible adventures, and seeking their own mountains to climb. But when we look back down the path that brought us here what do we see?

For us, we see mistakes. Our failures – our skinned knees, backsliding, and rockslides. In our brokenness, our oneness – there is beauty. It is part of a story woven in grace and rooted in Truth that surpasses all understanding. “For two are better than one.” It is in  this design that we seek after the one we want to spend our life with – the one we would die for – the person we’re desperately trying to become.

This feels heavy. A weight beyond which any of us are capable. How can we ever measure up – filling the needs of another? Our souls long for something – Someone greater. We seek because we were made to search – made to climb – made to follow. It is written on our hearts. It is more than a feeling or an obligation, somehow it is hardwired into every fiber of who we are. Marriage is a covenant, a promise, that while there is breath, we continue to point each other upward towards the prize.

As you begin your journey together, we encourage you to prepare for an incredible adventure – you’re in this together and you’re part of a story bigger than ourselves filled more beauty than we ever could imagine.

 

Special Thanks to Jake Andersen & Forest Springs for allowing us to shoot on location.
Commercial, Couples, For Photographers, Personal, Press, Wedding / Comment

How to become a Professional Photographer Part 1

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March 23, 2016

/ James Stokes

How to Become a Professional Wedding Photographer

This June will mark our 6th year as full-time professional photographers. Even writing that causes me to feel anxious. Breathe. Trust. Move forward. After quitting our jobs we’re left with much of a choice, we were all in. It was do or die time. Ramen noodle time. No really, we were terrified and filled with self-doubt. (This doesn’t magically go away I might add.) We were both still in college working days, weekends, and finishing up our degrees. O’ how I don’t miss those early years of very little sleep, toddlers, and weekly papers. Maybe some of you can relate. Youtube becomes the parent/teacher you never had because reading manuals and renting outdated books from the library just isn’t cutting it. Bootstrapping becomes your way of life. Credit Cards and student loans are the angel investors you don’t have and Dave Ramsey is the condemning voice you hear every time you make a new equipment purchase from B&H.

But… there was hope. Hope that one day we would be able to live the life we always dreamed of and create a business that would not only serve others but fulfill our calling as parent-tographers. For us, it wasn’t about having the freedom to travel the world or spend our mornings together in coffee shops, we simply wanted to be able to raise our children the way we had always dreamed.

Growing up on a farm (James) gave me a distorted and utopian view of the world. My parents were almost always around and if we couldn’t see them, we trusted that they were only a dinner bell’s sound away. When my brothers and I weren’t frolicking in the fields with calves or catching tadpoles in the pond, we were collecting eggs and helping mother put clothing out on the line. Okay, maybe that isn’t exactly what happened, but for me, it was freedom and that feeling is what I wanted to give my children, but without the burden and lifestyle that comes with having to feed hundreds of farm animals in the wee hours of the morning during Wisconsin’s harsh winters.

Having watched both my father and grandfather do this their entire lives gave me a great appreciation for what it means to truly earn a living, to work with your hands and to be proud of what you do. There was always something to be done and in order for my brothers and I to be able to attend private school, my mother cleaned houses – often after she had cleaned our own. Yep, pretty incredible if you ask me. I don’t know how they did it and to be honest, I don’t know how we do it. I am reminded daily of how dependent and truly needy we are.

Photography was always something I did. From the age of 6, I could be seen most often with a camera around my neck. Photographs shaped me. They were how I learned about who I was and where I came from. Images and the art of creating them taught me how to see the world. It was magical and expensive. With anticipation I remember begging my parents to go and pick up my film from the local Walgreens, hoping for that one shot to be in focus. So much has changed and I am thankful for the valuable hours spent in a dark room during high school and for the teachers and close friends who encouraged me, evening allowing me the freedom to learn uninhibited by expectations and often arbitrary grades. I must admit I was terribly spoiled by my small town upbringing. Had it not been for those Media classes and for a full summer of taking photographs with our German exchange student, I doubt I ever would have pursued photography as a career. Scary to think of where I would be had it not been for those incredibly valuable experiences and relationships that fostered my love of creating images.

So why share this? For all of us, there is a backstory, a reason we fell in love with photography. That story, our WHY matters. It will be the foundation we fall back on during hard times, during times of self-doubt, and our why will come into question after we make our first big mistake. The time we didn’t advance our film or our hard drive crashes with all of our client’s images. No amount of education can ever prepare you for how you will react in times of failure, but having these experiences and learning from them will be what causes you to grow not only as a person but as an artist and ultimately as a professional business owner.

With risk, there is always a chance of failure or unfortunate consequences. It is our fear of the unknown and our own fear of failure that prevents us from taking risks. Change is scary. Fear of what others might think, rejection prevents many of us from putting ourselves out there. Criticism either from ourselves or others discourages us before we even start. The negative voices the project into the future all the ways in which you are most likely to fail. We second guess ourselves for the sake of reason and sometimes never return to our original feelings of courage that could have carried us through to taking that first leap.

I don’t pretend to be brave or courageous. I don’t think I’m the best nor do I feel terribly qualified to teach anyone anything and yet I do. I coach a sport I was mediocre at. I educate business people who are smarter than me. I volunteer for things I feel ill-equipped to handle. I say yes often before thinking of the consequences. I have learned that controlling me fear and forcing myself to do something that scares me is the most important lesson I have learned from being a professional photographer. I wear the hat that is required of me to do my job well. What I lack in expertise I make up for in passion. Zeal can take you a long way and I believe the consistent pursuit of a tangible goal with a plan will often result in success when we define those terms for yourself.

Success is what we make it! We are not defined by what we do or how much money we make. We each must each decide what our own pursuit of happiness looks like. What is our light at the end of the tunnel? For me, it has always been the journey. We have to choose to be happy and fulfilled even in our times of failure and struggle. We can’t say to ourselves, “I will be happy when…” Our joy must come from outside ourselves, our expectations, our own talent. If it doesn’t we may reach our goals without ever truly being satisfied.

My purpose extends beyond simply being a creative, father, and husband – I am a believer. My faith has shown me that Risk for Christ is Right. Paul writes, “It is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Phil. 1:20–21)

For Katie and I, honoring Christ, magnifying Christ, making much of Christ is the meaning of our life! It is a purpose that extends beyond just our personal life; it is at the foundation of our business and the goal that supersedes all the rest. At the end of the day, did we serve Christ by caring for others well? Did our work point to Christ? It is so easy to self-promote and to make much of ourselves, but when we look at what we’re able to do and how very little of it has anything to do with us, we realize our great need and dependence on our creator and savior.

The greatest passion we will ever know is that of Christ’s death and resurrection. The Bible tells us that Jesus endured the cross “for the joy that was set before him” (Heb. 12:2) Therefore, the greatest act of love was enabled by hope of joy beyond the grave. We want others to know this joy, to experience the promises of God, even when life seems most uncertain and everything around you is falling apart. There is a peace that surpasses all understanding when we place our hope in Christ.

Who will you put your hope in? Who is going to help guide you through your discouraging failures? Who will you praise for your successes?  It is our hope that as you create a plan for becoming a professional photographer and as you search for answers to your questions, you may find the ultimate answer and purpose for your life.

Stay tuned for more about our journey and practical advice on becoming a professional photographer.

For Photographers, Personal / Business, Faith / 1 Comment

Michigan Adventures | Stokes Family July 2015

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July 4, 2015

/ James Stokes

mackinac Les Cheneaux Islands Hills Point Resort Photos

This year instead of heading out west, we decided to go Nort’! This July 7th, Katie and I will be celebrating our 8-year wedding anniversary. We honeymooned in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and thought it would be fun to show the kids some of our favorite destinations and give them a history lesson in J&K. We stayed in a quaint little cottage near the beach on the Les Cheneaux Islands at the Hills Point Resort. We took day trips into St. Ignace and Mackinaw City to walk the pier and visit Fort Michilimackinac. The kids were able to play in the sand and explore in the kayaks – really just be kids. Katie and I hope one day to bring all of our children and grandchildren to enjoy the beauty of Northern Michigan. Our lives have changed so drastically over the last 8 years. We an only imagine what life will look like 10, 20, 30 years from now. We’re so thankful for the opportunity to escape for a few days during the year. Vacation rarely is relaxing, but it is always an adventure!

Hope you all have a wonderful 4th of July! We’re so very blessed in this country – may God continue to bless this Nation and our children.

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Les Cheneaux Islands Hills Point Resort Photos

Les Cheneaux Islands Hills Point Resort Photos

Les Cheneaux Islands Hills Point Resort Photos

Les Cheneaux Islands Hills Point Resort Photos

Les Cheneaux Islands Hills Point Resort Photos

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st ignace mackinac city michigan photos

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st ignace mackinac city michigan photos

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st ignace mackinac city michigan photos

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Northern Michigan Wedding Photographers

Northern Michigan Wedding Photographers

Northern Michigan Wedding Photographers

Northern Michigan Wedding Photographers

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Northern Michigan Wedding Photographers

Northern Michigan Wedding Photographers

Children, Family, For Photographers, Lifestyle, Personal / Cottage, Lake, Mackinac, Michigan, Nautical, Northwoods, St. Ignace / Comment

5-year anniversary | Confessions of a Wisconsin Wedding Photographer

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June 16, 2015

/ James Stokes

This June marks our 5-year anniversary for our business. They say that the first five years are the hardest and I would have to agree. We never knew what our lives would look like when we decided to take what was once a hobby turn it into our full-time business venture. At the time, I was still in college and we were renting a house. We had two kids and pretty much lived off of our student loans. Can I get an amen! Before making the big leap, I had been working as a sales associate for an electronics store, which gave me an incredible three years of experience and forced me to face any fears I might have had surrounding sales and business. I am incredibly thankful for all the events, people, & experiences that led me/us to where we are today. It can only be explained by a sovereign God who is constantly using us to write His story. It truly is not about us. A lesson I have learned and will continue to learn through my journey here on earth. It took a great deal of faith and probably naivety to do what we did. “It will all work out,” I told Katie when I left my job and didn’t have much more than a few pennies to our name. Not kidding. We were poor and yet felt incredibly rich, we had each other and were moving in the direction of our dreams. We knew what we wanted, to spend our early years of marriage raising our children and trying our best to follow the direction we felt God was pushing us towards.

Growing up on a farm, I only knew having my parents around me and while they weren’t hovering over our every move, we felt safe and loved – often from a distance. This was healthy and it allowed me and my brothers the freedom to explore and create experiences for ourselves. Today, all of us are following our earliest passions, what I believe we were created for. For me, I wanted to replicate my childhood for my own children. How could I give them the life I had, or better, without buying a farm? I was not made for farming, ranching maybe. It was my prayer growing up as I would spend countless hours riding the lawnmower around the yard, one of the less strenuous jobs that come with living on a large dairy farm. It was during these talks with God that I would share with him the longings of my heart; the noise somehow made it easier to think. Through my ramblings, I believe the holy spirit interceded on my behalf and made sense of it all. I was a boy desperately trying to plan out my life – be in control. How foolish I was and yet, in His mercy, God has answered ALL of my prayers. If only I had written down my selfish requests. (This is something I have started doing and it remarkable how faithful God is in our prayers.) I truly don’t know how I could live a life without reflecting all the marvelous things he has done in my life and in the lives of those around me. My mustard seed faith as a child was all he needed, even that I cannot take credit for.

Over the course of the first few years, I finally graduated from college after seven years and several transfers. I was done! We were able to purchase a home, only by the grace of God which was also an answer to prayer. In 2012, my grandfather passed away. It was unexpected and it forever changed the course of our lives as he was my dad’s business partner, best friend, and confidant. Life on the farm changed and with it came blessings that we still don’t fully understand. He was able to meet our fourth child, Joren, whose name is an homage to his legacy; farmer. It is an absolute certainty that we will lose those we love, but our response to loss is what makes all the difference. I know that my grandfather loved Jesus and put his faith and trust in the Lord. Even when he was in pain he longed to be Home. I will never forget the moments spent when all our family held hands and prayed around his failing body. A final photograph of him holding his great grandson is a lasting reminder of how fragile and unexpected life can be and is a testament to our spiritual heritage. Through it all, God has used it for good.

“But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.” – Psalm 39:10

We have learned to wait on the Lord and put our trust in him, yet all the while working out what he has put before us. Often my perfectionism has gotten in the way of His Grace in my life and I have spent hours trying to learn everything I could about all the things necessary to run a business and be a profitable photographer. I have made so many mistakes and wasted so much time comparing myself to others and coveting their success – all the while missing the small blessings that God has put before me. He doesn’t call us to be successful, He calls us to be faithful. It has little to do with Facebook likes, Instagram followers, publications, money in the bank, WPPI Awards or balance sheets and yet so much of the last five years has been consumed with these things. I have turned blessings into idols.

What is the point of having the life you always wanted and yet never quite being happy with where you’re at? Some of this is just me, my brokenness, and yet some is just the beast of living in our culture and being a small business owner. We always want to do better, performing SWOTs every quarter and wanting to perfect ourselves, our craft and our business into a well-oiled machine – all the while still having a life. Creating oneself into a brand can be all-consuming and yet as a Christ-follower we’re called to die to ourselves; this one of the many conflicts that come with living in a fallen world. It comes naturally to want to point to ourselves and say, “Look at how great we are!” But in all reality we feel like we’re not good enough, that at times we’re not worth it. Similarly, pride can rear its ugly head in the opposite direction and tell us that we are the greatest. Neither are true. This tension, this balance is where we try to live – reflecting the creator and not the created. We all worship something and often it is ourselves. Often our focus is to draw attention to us, either through self-pity or pride, but that was not why we were created. Our hearts were made for something so much more beautiful than all that we surround ourselves with. My hope and joy need to be in the glory of His son, not in the blessings he has given me. I rise to worship Him not to check my email. (A real struggle for my people-pleasing heart.) I yearn to please others, often neglecting whom God has called me to love first, Himself. It is sobering to utter those words and yet I am ashamed of it. I have been given a life that many people dream of and still a portion of my heart is never satisfied. I spend my days grumbling about how my office isn’t big enough or if only I had a bigger house & we didn’t have six children … it is ugly, sinful.

I digress is stating that I am forgiven and I am a HUGE work in progress. By God’s grace, I am grateful for a beautiful life surrounded by precious little people, a loving wife, gracious friends, a caring body of believers, and trusting clients who have granted us the privilege of capturing their precious memories. We are thankful and we wouldn’t be where we are today without all of you!

To anyone reading this, I encourage you to seek after the Lord and His will for your life. This world is not our home and all we have been given is a blessing. May our lives always point back to Him in all that we do, whether it be in cleaning toilets (a job I had in high school), mothering/fathering children, being an employee or running a small business. We are looking forward to what the next five years will bring, the trials, triumphs, and failures. May our faith remain steadfast in our Holy God who is sovereign over all things and continues to shape and mold us into the image of his son, Jesus.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

For Photographers / Business, Faith / Comment

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