Tag Archives: Faith

Marriage Advice: Year Twelve

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Katie and I have been married for 12 years! (gulp). I think that means we are getting older but I believe that is a good thing. I look back at our 21/20-year-old selves and think about how naive we were in just about every aspect of our lives. There was a reason NO ONE thought our marriage was a good idea, except for us. At the time, we had no game plan beyond that; we would figure things out as we went… and we did, but not without making a TON of mistakes. Thankfully, none of them were very costly, except for a $20,000 tax accounting error. Yes, 4 zeros!!! In spite of our mistakes, God’s grace in our lives and our belief that marriage is a lifelong commitment, we’ve made through nine babies, four houses/moves, one apartment, two dogs, two cats, fair fish, aquatic frogs, homeschooling, three businesses, job-loss, spinal meningitis, countless viral bugs, college, and I’m just scratching the surface. Life is crazy/beautiful. Sometimes more crazy than beautiful.

We wish I could sum up the total worth of what we have learned in what is just a drop in the bucket of the total breadth of our lives, Lord willing, (we want to be those people who annoy our children long into our 90s) however, the only word that seems to fit is PERSEVERANCE.

Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.

Over the last 10 years, Katie and I have had the honor and privilege of photographing hundreds of weddings side by side. Still, we can recall specific memories and couples who brought us tears or made our faces hurt with laughter. In part, we’ve believed we have had one of the greatest opportunities afforded to our generation; investing in marriage.

Frequently, we hear our couples say that their wedding day was a haze of fleeting moments amidst the crowd of family and friends. That is what emotions sometimes do, but that’s where we come in. There is a beauty within those subtle moments and our passion over the last decade has been to capture the phenomenon that is your wedding in stunning timeless photographs that you will cherish for a lifetime and generations that follow.

Together we create a first family’s first heirlooms; blending classic photojournalism with a fine art approach, our goal is to capture editorial-style images that can be displayed in anthology form.

We admit that we haven’t always invested in our marriage. We have only gone away a handful of times together. Each trip has been like a reset point; a moment to just pause. We’re able to reflect, find quiet, and process. This is so crucial and we’re so thankful for that time because it is so rare.

Rest. Something we’ve lost in our culture. Real unplugged rest. We’re finding balance too. How do we juggle #allthethings? Somethings are always in the air while one thing rests in your hand only for a moment. One really can’t multitask. You’re either doing one thing or you’re doing another, however, some of us have found ways to live in alignment largely with the help of technology. But there is a point, we all have it, where the noise and the productivity must end. We must be still. Wait. Listen.

I am so bad as this.

Maybe you’re like me. You feel lazy the instant you sit down and your phone isn’t in your hand or you don’t have a book or journal in your hand.

I was convicted of this as I reviewed my finances for 2019 and began planning for 2020. I’ve tried to set aside time each morning for devotions, prayer, meditation, and reflection and have come across the verses in scripture that speak of living by faith. What does that practically look like as I’m trying to make sense of ones and zeros, spreadsheets, and taxes?

Do I try harder? Should I give more? Should I work more? Should I work less? Maybe, I should stop trying altogether?

The silence only lasts so long in our home and listening for an answer from the Almighty isn’t as epic as I would sometimes like. Followers often don’t get Pauline encounters with Abba Father. Often it is much more subtle after long periods of nothing.

Peace. Joshua 1:9 – A promise that LORD our God is always with us. 2 Peter 1:3 – All things that pertain to life and godliness he has already granted us. This may not mean that everything is going to go our way, it most certainly will not, but when troubles come we are to remain joyful. “Let perseverance/steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

So, I pray. I continue to diligently work unto the LORD who has ordained good works for us to do. I still plan, but I give God the giant eraser, praying his will be done for his glory and not my own.

We continue to look for the beauty that surrounds us each day in the mundane and seek to find ways to remain grateful for all that we have, being content. This in and of itself is a daily struggle as we look to set goals for our life and aspire to bigger and better things.

Paul writes the early church that they are to love one another; even more than what they already had yet their ambition and goal was to live a quiet life dependent on no one. Isn’t that the goal for those of us who are entrepreneurs. We dream of self-sufficiency, free of debt, and make the freedom to write our days, but we can get caught up on the self and forget about the one who made us. We are his and we’re called to love others, not fall more in love with ourselves and the things we acquire.

Self-care is not the same as self-love. Marriages need some of one and less of the other. You can’t just take care of yourself and expect that your marriage is going to thrive, but what you can do is chase after the quiet times with God and his word and look for ways to love each other more, which often looks like the opposite of self-love. My wife is better at this than me. She just serves. Endlessly. But each evening we each take time for ourselves after longs days of schooling, work, meals, kids, and running. We realize this is the opposite for most people, they spend their time together at the end of the day, not us. We’re weird. But it works.

We’re still learning what it means to put God first and our marriage second. We’re still triaging the rest; whatever or whoever is bleeding gets the most attention. For all the ways we are insufficient, grace is enough for us and is enough for you too!

Blessings to you all this year!

James & Katie Stokes

6 Mistakes to Avoid When Planning A Wedding

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Over the last 10 years, Katie and I have not only shot 200+ weddings, but we have also planned, designed, and officiated several weddings for siblings. DIY Weddings are not for the faint of heart. This last year, we held a wedding in our own backyard. For over a year we worked with my brother and sister in law to bring their dream to life. The reality is everyone can plan a wedding, but not everyone should. Logistically, emotionally, & financially it might not be the best choice for you, but let me share a few mistakes we’ve made, heard about, or experienced over the years.

 

    

  • Failing to Establish a Budget Beforehand

From the wedding venue and catering to flowers and photography, estimating the cost of a wedding can be complicated. Not the mention those last-minute costs that spring up suddenly and blow up your budget. But while you can’t be sure that cost will come up to exactly what you’re willing to spend, setting a realistic budget will still save you a lot of stress and hassles later. You can also use the wedding cost calculator available online to get an approximate estimate cost! Treat a wedding like building a home. Make sure that you have a 20-30% buffer in your budget for the unexpected. Set a budget based on what you can personally afford with the help of your family. What is most important to you? That is where you invest your money. What is going to help produce the most long-term happiness?  

 

 

  • Looking for a Wedding Venue Before Preparing Your Guest List

In Wisconsin, we generally have pretty big families. Nebraska and Utah might have us beat, but regardless, knowing who you’re inviting will determine the venue, which in turn might determine the date itself. Start with the list. There are so many neat online tools to help collect the infamous guest list and addresses. We personally like Basic Invite. If you’re thinking of sending out printed save the dates and invitations we highly recommend their services. Ask us how you can save on your next order! You must prepare your guest list before you book your wedding venue to make sure your venue is neither cluttered nor does it have lots of empty space on the wedding day. The guest list will give you a ballpark idea of the number of guests and accordingly, you can finalize a wedding venue that comfortably accommodates all guests. 

 

 

  • Losing Sight of the Weather Conditions

A big wedding planning mistake anyone can make is forgetting to take the weather conditions into account when booking the wedding venue. If you are holding your wedding in summer, then your ideal venue might be one of the many Outdoor Wisconsin Venues. However, Spring and Fall Weddings it is always a good idea to have a backup plan. We crossed our fingers and hoped for the best with an August 18th wedding last year, but we recommend renting a tent, even if you don’t put it up, it is nice to have it just in case! It’s the Midwest. Anything is possible. 

 

 

  • Going DIY or Hiring a Newbie

Did our siblings make a mistake in ‘hiring’ us to make their dreams come true? Maybe? But like I always say, the proof is in the podding and everything went off all three times without a hitch, but I wouldn’t call us newbies either. Our siblings are also super chill and down to earth and ultimately cared more about each other than the day itself. They wanted everyone to enjoy themselves and for their day to be stress-free. The trusted others who promised to take care of them and if in the event something didn’t quite go as planned, they would simply take care of it. They got to ditch their phones and just show up! Invest is someone who is OBSESSED with weddings. We have worked with many who are so good at what they do! Check out Trillium Event Co. The owner just so happens to be a high school friend who serves the Appleton, Wisconsin and surrounding Fox Valley area. 

 

  • Sending Out Your “Save-the-Date” Messages Too Soon

Wedding planning is just as exciting as stressful it is and so, you may impulsively send your save-the-date messages. But what if you realize that you need to cut your guest list short and nix a couple of third-tier invites later? This is where things can get complicated because you would’ve already invited them. So it is best to wait till the number is finalized and then wedding venue is booked before you send out your paperless posts. Working with parents on your list can be stressful, but we strongly recommend getting your list FINALIZED at least six months in advance.   

 

 

  • Missing the Point

I would say the biggest mistake couples make in planning their wedding is not investing in their relationship and ultimately their marriage. Sometimes the big things are not the most important and often we get caught up the excitement and the thrill of planning, that we forget the reason we planning the first place. Planning a wedding is a lot like life prep for couples. It forces two people to make decisions, communicate, create and keep to a budget, work with parents, meet each other’s friends, and agree and disagree. How is this going for you? If planning a wedding has been stressful or maybe you’re just getting started, focus on what is most important and keep that at the top of your list. Your marriage. We are a huge fan of marriage counseling. While your marriage hasn’t begun yet, the year(s) that lead up to it matter and it will set a foundation moving forward. Sure, you will hit some bumps along the way, that is normal, that is real life, but how are going to move past them? Are you able to compromise on your guest list? Can you agree on a venue? Are you getting along with your future in-laws during this process?

You can make every one of the mistakes above and still get married and even have a great wedding, but you can do everything perfectly and hire all the right people and miss the point altogether. Cherish the time you have and address issues you have when you see them. Don’t stay quiet for the sake of the other’s perceived happiness and don’t check out gentlemen when your bride and future mother in law are deciding on what color the napkins need to be. Your opinion matters more than you think. Brides, your groom wants nothing more than to give you the moon on your wedding day, but we’re not always sure its the moon you want. We want to be the thing you cherish most. We don’t want you to ultimately care about your dress, flowers, food, colors more than you care about the fact that we get to be the one thing you cherish most in life on this earth. While all of those things matter to us, because they matter to you, don’t make them the ultimate thing. Your dress might rip, your flowers might wilt, and your chicken might be dry, but I want to laugh cry with you when everything is falling apart and there is a hole in your kitchen roof and the water is pouring in because that is what marriage is all about. We’re stuck together. Thick and thin. Hell or high water and every other cliche you can think of. Marriage is is a commitment, a choice. That no matter what, I got your back and you got mine. Even when we disagree, I am still for you. Even when money is tight and the kids are sick, we’re for each other.

And in the good times, and there will be so many good times, we cherish each other and the moments because they are gifts we don’t deserve. #liferevered.

 

 

 

   

Romanic Wedding Photos

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Romantic Wedding Photos

Valentine’s Day. Very few know the reason for the Holiday, so being the history buff I am, I looked it up only to find several conflicting stories all deeply shrouded in mystery from antiquity. Thanks to some surviving hagiographical records, we’re able to compile the various records of a man or men named Valentine and combine them into one identity and merged with a pagan fertility festival which we celebrate today in the form of pink and red hearts and roses, chocolates, and possibly engagement rings!

I like to think that there is always a bit of truth in legends. In short, we celebrate a day named after St. Valentine who allegedly married young Christian couples in secret due Emperor Claudius II outlawing marriage because he thought that married men made poor soldiers. Accounts state that Valentine broke the law and also attempted to convert the Emperor to Christianity. This ultimately culminated in his demise outside the Flaminian Gate.

In later years, the Roman Catholic church would turn the story of a priest & a bishop into a patron Saint for bookkeepers and lovers alike. In an interesting personal twist, a common ancestor of both Katie and myself, poet Geoffrey Chaucer (16th great grandfather), may have single-handedly created the romantic tradition we know today with his work “Parlement of Foules,” in which he stated that birds and human find a mate on Seynt Valentine’s Day.

For whatever reason, we like to remind those closest to us that we love, care, and are thinking of them on this special day in February. I always look forward to the vintage cards my grandmother sends my children, a tradition she started with me and has kept over the last 30 years. I am reminded of how fortunate I am to have been loved by so many throughout my life. This is a gift I have often taken for granted. Not everyone is so fortunate and blessed to love and be loved in return.

My wife, Katie, knows wholeheartedly that I am not the biggest fan of this American Holiday, but maybe that was because I never understood the story behind and the personal attachment to its origins. As a believer, we embrace the very real possibility that our faith will have negative earthly ramifications for following Jesus. We’re blessed to live in a country where we’re able to worship how we like and marry whom we love. 

Special thanks to all of our 32 Couples from 2016 for reminding us why we love what we do so much and Happy Valentine’s Day! – The Stokes

Emotional Wedding Photos

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Wedding days are filled with a bundle of emotions and often ones you can’t really predict. They wait right beneath the surface and it isn’t until we see the faces of the ones we love the most do they spill over. These are the moments we want to candidly capture and have it as though we were never there. Being present doesn’t  mean the shutter has to be clicking but waiting and anticipating those moments. Katie and I both have our strengths and this is certainly Katie’s. As a wallflower, she lives for moments like these, just anticipating the perfect moment when the father of the bride sees his daughter for the first time in her wedding dress. As a father, this moment gets me every time. I think about what it will be like when my own daughters get married and how I will be a complete mess and for good reason, they are my babies and I will be giving them away… it will be a happy day and at the same time I will be missing them before they are gone.

Marriage is big, scary, & filled with the unknown. Weddings are a celebration of what it means to dedicate your life to another for life in spite of those fears. This summer I have the chance to give the message at my brother’s wedding. It is something I have been planning for almost a year. Does anyone really remember what was said at their wedding? Maybe not without the help of a videographer, but I know how I want him and his wife to feel; loved and supported. Marriage takes work and families are not off the hook, while they are to take a back seat in letting their children make decisions, it is their right as parents to support the marriage and no longer the individual child they raised. This is hard. Parents can either be absent or overbearing, but for the fortunate, they are encouraging, transparent, and honest. This is worth more than its weight in spiritual gold.

As believers, this means that we will point our children and their spouses to Christ always! There is no greater example of a servant than that of Jesus Christ and our marriages should reflect the glory of our creator. Understanding that marriage was designed to serve as a union within a fallen world breaks the notion that marriages themselves should be perfect. Indeed, we try and make our weddings as flawless as possible, but marriage will be filled with highs and lows and a million imperfections. In those lows and through those mistakes, what will bring us back to a place of contentment and surrender? What will point us back to our promises? We believe that with God’s help and through scripture you will be reminded of your vows and commitment to one another. Psalm 77:11-12 – I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds.

Over the last nine years of marriage, it is so evident how God has poured out His mercy and blessings on us in all His forms. Over time, I am afraid that we will forget all the goodness and trials he has given in order to have us draw closer to him and each other. I like to think that photographs and journals help protect against that. We are reminded every day of His goodness and the blessings we’re surrounded by. Our marriage is not perfect and our children are not angels, but God’s Grace is sufficient for all our failings as spouses and as parents. It is our hope that our couples would know Jesus personally and lead God fearing lives that raise up disciples for the Lord.

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build labor in vain.

This is from one of my favorite chapters in Psalms which reminds me that children are a heritage from the Lord. What a gift we have to be able to marry the one whom God has chosen for us and to live in a place where we can serve and worship him freely. God ultimately wants us to delight in Him and to chase after him. So very often we misplace God for our spouse and our spouse was never designed to replace the creator of the Universe. We simply are not big enough to fulfill the needs of the human soul, we cannot be the happiness source of another. This is freeing! You don’t have to be EVERYTHING to your other half, you simply have to show them who is worthy of all of your praise. John 1:3

So, rejoice. Breathe. Laugh. Cry. Be silly. Your wedding day should be filled with hope and joy, much like our blessed hope in the day Christ will return in all His glory. Titus 2:11-14

  

Christmas 2016

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California Sequoia National Park

This year I turned 30! I have been looking forward to this for a long time. Weird, I know, but somehow entering my 30’s psychologically has given me more permission to be at peace.

My 20’s were spent hustling, graduating, building, growing our family and simply just surviving. Seven years of school, marriage, mortgages, two businesses and seven children will make you feel like you’re running a race with no end in sight. On my birthday I made a choice to allow my 30’s to be filled with many more moments of contentment and joy. God has me and it has taken me thirty years to believe that; to rest in that, but not without tension.

I am reminded of the character Billy from my favorite book, “Where the Red Fern Grows,” who after promising his dog that if they treed a coon he would do the rest in chopping down the tree. He finds himself staring up at the biggest sycamore in the Ozarks. Feeling nearly defeated before he started, he looks down at his two precious Redbone Coonhounds, who he had saved and sacrificed for. Remembering his promise to cut down any tree they put a coon in, he prays.

“Please God, give me the strength to finish the job. I don’t want to leave the big tree like that. Please help me finish the job.”

The picture of a son begging his father to help him is exactly how we should come before our Heavenly Father. Like Billy, I have asked God to finish the work he has started in me and in my family. Billy easily could have given up and walked away from the challenge of having to cut down a hundred-year-old tree just for a raccoon, but he kept his promise to Old Dan and Little Ann, a promise he couldn’t keep without some help from the Almighty and his command over all of creation.

Whatever you ask in the name of Jesus, God will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  (John 14:13)

God answers those who ask in faith, out of dependence on Him & in the name of Jesus, yet His Grace extends to all who believe. Very clearly: If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

This verse shakes me to my core, simply because I do not ask enough. Somehow I rely on my own human strength and understanding, which is really just Google and the body & mind God has given me in the first place, instead of taking a moment to be a child asking His Heavenly Father for the simplest of requests.

Often I don’t ask God because I simply do not know what to ask God for? It can feel so pointless to simply ask God for things we’re not even sure we should really want in the first place. Maybe you can relate?

I know how God has answered my prayers. I am reminded of his goodness every day, yet I grumble and complain over just about everything that doesn’t go as planned. The shortcomings of a perfectionist are endless.  Blessings often don’t feel like blessings when we’re looking for ways to make them better. I am guilty of this daily and it robs me of joy.

It is impossible to seek God when we’re focused on ourselves. The very nature of self-centeredness puts at enmity with God. We can’t love the world and love Jesus too.

We are called to pray without ceasing; to remain in constant communion with our Heavenly Father, but that requires absolute humility and discipline.

When John sees God’s heavenly throne he is overwhelmed by the majesty of who God is and what he has done. He created all things by his will; we are his created beings designed to bring him glory & praise. I don’t feel like that most days. I’m either a hot mess or think I have it all together and can conquer the world. How do we see ourselves rightly at the throne of God?

The truth is we can’t, not without Jesus.

“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him.” John 6:44a

There is a reason God does the calling because even in our salvation we may boast in ourselves. Eph 2:8 Isn’t that like us, to take credit for something God has done?

It is so easy to point to ourselves. We take every opportunity to tell the world how great we are. Our self-promotion has no limits.

While we’re looking at how ‘great’ humanity is or isn’t, admiring beauty and seeking to be entertained –  we’re distracted, which is the biggest reason I don’t pray. I make everything else more important.

My pride forces me to look for ways to make myself bigger, better, more known and all the while God is whispering to me at the foot of the tree to make yourself smaller. To kneel before Him and give Him everything – really everything. “Yes, even that!”

But how, God? What does that look like? Can I still serve two masters? Matthew 6:24

I am in this constant struggle of despising the hustle and resenting the tension. We have elevated our goals to the status of gods. Hustling to what end? What purpose?

We’re tired. Tired of making much of ourselves. We’re tired of expectations that come before you, God.

Jesus is calling us to himself, even in the barrage of social media, constant entertainment, sports and civil unrest. He isn’t where you would think to look. He is in the brokenness behind the perfectly curated Instagram posts and smiling Christmas cards. Intermingled in the binary code there is truth. In the stillness, He beckons us to deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow Him, especially in our unrefined mess.

Follow in our cultural context doesn’t quite fit what was actually meant when Jesus told the disciples to follow him and become fishers of men.

They left everything they knew. I imagine their nets and boats just sitting there as the waves washed up against the shore. What would it look like to simply drop everything and walk with Jesus? To obey what Jesus teaches?

Would my camera, computer, and phone just remain on my desk? Can I follow you while I fish from shore? Can I bring my camera with? Can a fisherman do art? I am that disciple who asks compromising questions always looking for a loophole.

I ask these questions because I don’t know the answers and because I want my sin too. In this season of life, so much seems to come before the Kingdom of God. We’re spending the majority of our lives in a virtual reality perfecting a facade. (Jesus had some pretty strong words for people who appeared to be beautiful on the outside but were a mess on the inside.)

Do we spend our days seeking the validation of others, searching after likes and followers to fill a void that was only meant to be filled by the awesomeness of our Heavenly Father?

I am fervently praying that my life, my family, my business would all come last in comparison to Christ. I need prayer because this isn’t easy. There are so many tangible obligations that appear so important and take precedence over what has been demanded of my life.

As Christmas draws near, I reflect on a baby who was born in the lowest of circumstances who changed the world and all eternity. I am in awe of His story and how all of creation points to Jesus as the Savior of the World. I am looking up this Christmas at a tree. A Cross so much bigger than I am prepared to carry. I must be confident that he who began a good work, will carry in on to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

May all that I do point to Jesus and may my children Praise His name forever! This is my fervent prayer.

 

Merry Christmas

 

LIFE REVERED

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www.james-stokes.com | James Stokes Photography, LLC

Today I am moved by just how awesome God is. I know we hear that word often, sometimes to describe pizza or the latest lipstick but the truth is NOTHING compares to the wonders of our creator. The more time I spend away from the things that distract me from His word the more at peace I feel.

I am a person who almost always feels like they are being pulled in a million different directions, pleasing, serving, perfecting. Much of this has robbed me of joy due to a lack of prioritizing God first. I still and always need His Grace in this, but he has been so patient with me, always reminding me of how much he loves me through the stories and promises he is weaving into my life. As I approach 30, I can see God’s plan, discipline, trials, and blessings in my life much more clearly.

He moves when we are still and works when are  patiently waiting on him. This is the Christian walk; trusting in the Lord. For some, it is years, decades, but always he is faithful and just. I find myself complaining when the smallest of things don’t go the way I had planned and I am reminded of Joseph and his time in prison. My molehills are put rightly into perspective in this moment when I take time to ponder on what is eternal, what is most important!

As I begin to prepare for my brother’s wedding 1 year from today, I think about what I will say to a captive audience as I deliver the message. What words will be remembered years from now? How can I make Christ the center? That is always the goal; making less of ourselves and much of Christ. There is so much freedom in this.

The comparison game ends at the feet of Jesus. None of us are worthy or can claim our own greatness. We are clay, made of earth and poured into by the Holy Spirit.

But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 2 Corinthians 4:7

While we may be easily broken, God has entrusted the Good News to us as a vessel reminding me again that I am not my own. The gospel is not merely a message of truth that confronts our hearts, but an explosive power that turns a person’s life upside down. How has your life been turned upside down by Jesus?

Maybe you’re in the midst of planning your wedding or simply a person looking for inspiration. I challenge you to make a choice to live a life in total reverence to your creator and Heavenly Father. The whole world comes into focus through the lens of God at the center and  as the author and artist of our life. Through trial and blessing, he remains steadfast, drawing us closer to him.

Look for ways to be a vessel; ask to be molded in the likeness of his son Jesus and search for beauty beyond the screens that permeate our daily routines. God broke the mold with you, with all of us. We’re fearfully and wonderfully made for his purpose. How will you live a LIFE REVERED?

How to become a Professional Photographer Part 1

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How to Become a Professional Wedding Photographer

This June will mark our 6th year as full-time professional photographers. Even writing that causes me to feel anxious. Breathe. Trust. Move forward. After quitting our jobs we’re left with much of a choice, we were all in. It was do or die time. Ramen noodle time. No really, we were terrified and filled with self-doubt. (This doesn’t magically go away I might add.) We were both still in college working days, weekends, and finishing up our degrees. O’ how I don’t miss those early years of very little sleep, toddlers, and weekly papers. Maybe some of you can relate. Youtube becomes the parent/teacher you never had because reading manuals and renting outdated books from the library just isn’t cutting it. Bootstrapping becomes your way of life. Credit Cards and student loans are the angel investors you don’t have and Dave Ramsey is the condemning voice you hear every time you make a new equipment purchase from B&H.

But… there was hope. Hope that one day we would be able to live the life we always dreamed of and create a business that would not only serve others but fulfill our calling as parent-tographers. For us, it wasn’t about having the freedom to travel the world or spend our mornings together in coffee shops, we simply wanted to be able to raise our children the way we had always dreamed.

Growing up on a farm (James) gave me a distorted and utopian view of the world. My parents were almost always around and if we couldn’t see them, we trusted that they were only a dinner bell’s sound away. When my brothers and I weren’t frolicking in the fields with calves or catching tadpoles in the pond, we were collecting eggs and helping mother put clothing out on the line. Okay, maybe that isn’t exactly what happened, but for me, it was freedom and that feeling is what I wanted to give my children, but without the burden and lifestyle that comes with having to feed hundreds of farm animals in the wee hours of the morning during Wisconsin’s harsh winters.

Having watched both my father and grandfather do this their entire lives gave me a great appreciation for what it means to truly earn a living, to work with your hands and to be proud of what you do. There was always something to be done and in order for my brothers and I to be able to attend private school, my mother cleaned houses – often after she had cleaned our own. Yep, pretty incredible if you ask me. I don’t know how they did it and to be honest, I don’t know how we do it. I am reminded daily of how dependent and truly needy we are.

Photography was always something I did. From the age of 6, I could be seen most often with a camera around my neck. Photographs shaped me. They were how I learned about who I was and where I came from. Images and the art of creating them taught me how to see the world. It was magical and expensive. With anticipation I remember begging my parents to go and pick up my film from the local Walgreens, hoping for that one shot to be in focus. So much has changed and I am thankful for the valuable hours spent in a dark room during high school and for the teachers and close friends who encouraged me, evening allowing me the freedom to learn uninhibited by expectations and often arbitrary grades. I must admit I was terribly spoiled by my small town upbringing. Had it not been for those Media classes and for a full summer of taking photographs with our German exchange student, I doubt I ever would have pursued photography as a career. Scary to think of where I would be had it not been for those incredibly valuable experiences and relationships that fostered my love of creating images.

So why share this? For all of us, there is a backstory, a reason we fell in love with photography. That story, our WHY matters. It will be the foundation we fall back on during hard times, during times of self-doubt, and our why will come into question after we make our first big mistake. The time we didn’t advance our film or our hard drive crashes with all of our client’s images. No amount of education can ever prepare you for how you will react in times of failure, but having these experiences and learning from them will be what causes you to grow not only as a person but as an artist and ultimately as a professional business owner.

With risk, there is always a chance of failure or unfortunate consequences. It is our fear of the unknown and our own fear of failure that prevents us from taking risks. Change is scary. Fear of what others might think, rejection prevents many of us from putting ourselves out there. Criticism either from ourselves or others discourages us before we even start. The negative voices the project into the future all the ways in which you are most likely to fail. We second guess ourselves for the sake of reason and sometimes never return to our original feelings of courage that could have carried us through to taking that first leap.

I don’t pretend to be brave or courageous. I don’t think I’m the best nor do I feel terribly qualified to teach anyone anything and yet I do. I coach a sport I was mediocre at. I educate business people who are smarter than me. I volunteer for things I feel ill-equipped to handle. I say yes often before thinking of the consequences. I have learned that controlling me fear and forcing myself to do something that scares me is the most important lesson I have learned from being a professional photographer. I wear the hat that is required of me to do my job well. What I lack in expertise I make up for in passion. Zeal can take you a long way and I believe the consistent pursuit of a tangible goal with a plan will often result in success when we define those terms for yourself.

Success is what we make it! We are not defined by what we do or how much money we make. We each must each decide what our own pursuit of happiness looks like. What is our light at the end of the tunnel? For me, it has always been the journey. We have to choose to be happy and fulfilled even in our times of failure and struggle. We can’t say to ourselves, “I will be happy when…” Our joy must come from outside ourselves, our expectations, our own talent. If it doesn’t we may reach our goals without ever truly being satisfied.

My purpose extends beyond simply being a creative, father, and husband – I am a believer. My faith has shown me that Risk for Christ is Right. Paul writes, “It is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Phil. 1:20–21)

For Katie and I, honoring Christ, magnifying Christ, making much of Christ is the meaning of our life! It is a purpose that extends beyond just our personal life; it is at the foundation of our business and the goal that supersedes all the rest. At the end of the day, did we serve Christ by caring for others well? Did our work point to Christ? It is so easy to self-promote and to make much of ourselves, but when we look at what we’re able to do and how very little of it has anything to do with us, we realize our great need and dependence on our creator and savior.

The greatest passion we will ever know is that of Christ’s death and resurrection. The Bible tells us that Jesus endured the cross “for the joy that was set before him” (Heb. 12:2) Therefore, the greatest act of love was enabled by hope of joy beyond the grave. We want others to know this joy, to experience the promises of God, even when life seems most uncertain and everything around you is falling apart. There is a peace that surpasses all understanding when we place our hope in Christ.

Who will you put your hope in? Who is going to help guide you through your discouraging failures? Who will you praise for your successes?  It is our hope that as you create a plan for becoming a professional photographer and as you search for answers to your questions, you may find the ultimate answer and purpose for your life.

Stay tuned for more about our journey and practical advice on becoming a professional photographer.

5-year anniversary | Confessions of a Wisconsin Wedding Photographer

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This June marks our 5-year anniversary for our business. They say that the first five years are the hardest and I would have to agree. We never knew what our lives would look like when we decided to take what was once a hobby turn it into our full-time business venture. At the time, I was still in college and we were renting a house. We had two kids and pretty much lived off of our student loans. Can I get an amen! Before making the big leap, I had been working as a sales associate for an electronics store, which gave me an incredible three years of experience and forced me to face any fears I might have had surrounding sales and business. I am incredibly thankful for all the events, people, & experiences that led me/us to where we are today. It can only be explained by a sovereign God who is constantly using us to write His story. It truly is not about us. A lesson I have learned and will continue to learn through my journey here on earth. It took a great deal of faith and probably naivety to do what we did. “It will all work out,” I told Katie when I left my job and didn’t have much more than a few pennies to our name. Not kidding. We were poor and yet felt incredibly rich, we had each other and were moving in the direction of our dreams. We knew what we wanted, to spend our early years of marriage raising our children and trying our best to follow the direction we felt God was pushing us towards.

Growing up on a farm, I only knew having my parents around me and while they weren’t hovering over our every move, we felt safe and loved – often from a distance. This was healthy and it allowed me and my brothers the freedom to explore and create experiences for ourselves. Today, all of us are following our earliest passions, what I believe we were created for. For me, I wanted to replicate my childhood for my own children. How could I give them the life I had, or better, without buying a farm? I was not made for farming, ranching maybe. It was my prayer growing up as I would spend countless hours riding the lawnmower around the yard, one of the less strenuous jobs that come with living on a large dairy farm. It was during these talks with God that I would share with him the longings of my heart; the noise somehow made it easier to think. Through my ramblings, I believe the holy spirit interceded on my behalf and made sense of it all. I was a boy desperately trying to plan out my life – be in control. How foolish I was and yet, in His mercy, God has answered ALL of my prayers. If only I had written down my selfish requests. (This is something I have started doing and it remarkable how faithful God is in our prayers.) I truly don’t know how I could live a life without reflecting all the marvelous things he has done in my life and in the lives of those around me. My mustard seed faith as a child was all he needed, even that I cannot take credit for.

Over the course of the first few years, I finally graduated from college after seven years and several transfers. I was done! We were able to purchase a home, only by the grace of God which was also an answer to prayer. In 2012, my grandfather passed away. It was unexpected and it forever changed the course of our lives as he was my dad’s business partner, best friend, and confidant. Life on the farm changed and with it came blessings that we still don’t fully understand. He was able to meet our fourth child, Joren, whose name is an homage to his legacy; farmer. It is an absolute certainty that we will lose those we love, but our response to loss is what makes all the difference. I know that my grandfather loved Jesus and put his faith and trust in the Lord. Even when he was in pain he longed to be Home. I will never forget the moments spent when all our family held hands and prayed around his failing body. A final photograph of him holding his great grandson is a lasting reminder of how fragile and unexpected life can be and is a testament to our spiritual heritage. Through it all, God has used it for good.

“But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.” – Psalm 39:10

We have learned to wait on the Lord and put our trust in him, yet all the while working out what he has put before us. Often my perfectionism has gotten in the way of His Grace in my life and I have spent hours trying to learn everything I could about all the things necessary to run a business and be a profitable photographer. I have made so many mistakes and wasted so much time comparing myself to others and coveting their success – all the while missing the small blessings that God has put before me. He doesn’t call us to be successful, He calls us to be faithful. It has little to do with Facebook likes, Instagram followers, publications, money in the bank, WPPI Awards or balance sheets and yet so much of the last five years has been consumed with these things. I have turned blessings into idols.

What is the point of having the life you always wanted and yet never quite being happy with where you’re at? Some of this is just me, my brokenness, and yet some is just the beast of living in our culture and being a small business owner. We always want to do better, performing SWOTs every quarter and wanting to perfect ourselves, our craft and our business into a well-oiled machine – all the while still having a life. Creating oneself into a brand can be all-consuming and yet as a Christ-follower we’re called to die to ourselves; this one of the many conflicts that come with living in a fallen world. It comes naturally to want to point to ourselves and say, “Look at how great we are!” But in all reality we feel like we’re not good enough, that at times we’re not worth it. Similarly, pride can rear its ugly head in the opposite direction and tell us that we are the greatest. Neither are true. This tension, this balance is where we try to live – reflecting the creator and not the created. We all worship something and often it is ourselves. Often our focus is to draw attention to us, either through self-pity or pride, but that was not why we were created. Our hearts were made for something so much more beautiful than all that we surround ourselves with. My hope and joy need to be in the glory of His son, not in the blessings he has given me. I rise to worship Him not to check my email. (A real struggle for my people-pleasing heart.) I yearn to please others, often neglecting whom God has called me to love first, Himself. It is sobering to utter those words and yet I am ashamed of it. I have been given a life that many people dream of and still a portion of my heart is never satisfied. I spend my days grumbling about how my office isn’t big enough or if only I had a bigger house & we didn’t have six children … it is ugly, sinful.

I digress is stating that I am forgiven and I am a HUGE work in progress. By God’s grace, I am grateful for a beautiful life surrounded by precious little people, a loving wife, gracious friends, a caring body of believers, and trusting clients who have granted us the privilege of capturing their precious memories. We are thankful and we wouldn’t be where we are today without all of you!

To anyone reading this, I encourage you to seek after the Lord and His will for your life. This world is not our home and all we have been given is a blessing. May our lives always point back to Him in all that we do, whether it be in cleaning toilets (a job I had in high school), mothering/fathering children, being an employee or running a small business. We are looking forward to what the next five years will bring, the trials, triumphs, and failures. May our faith remain steadfast in our Holy God who is sovereign over all things and continues to shape and mold us into the image of his son, Jesus.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28