Engaged: Now What?
If you are recently engaged, first of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! This is an awesome moment in your relationship with your now Fiancé. Take a moment to let that sink in. You two have made the commitment to become married in the very near future.
Awhile back, I found an article on the Bridal Guide blog that I felt really captured what it was like to get engaged and I find this still to be true every time I come back to it. When I look back on our engagement, I experienced a lot of these same things, and depending on where you are in the engagement spectrum you will either experience some of these things or have already experienced some of these moments. They are fun, exciting, and sometimes can be overwhelming with all of the decisions that you have to make, but that’s another blog post in itself. I really wanted to give those of you who are engaged some tips that I learned from being in that same place where you are now.
Don’t stress yourself out.
Before getting engaged I was bombarded with rules on what the “perfect engagement” should be like. For example, I thought that in order for my engagement to be considered valid, my nails needed to be done all of the time, and my boyfriend had to have a photographer lurking in the bushes somewhere; can we just take a minute to acknowledge how creepy that is in the first place, having a person hide to take pictures of you two at your most vulnerable moments where you will most likely have mascara running down your face…. Creepy. Well, things didn’t work out this way, for me at least. When Nathan proposed, I didn’t have my nails done, I almost was wearing duck pajama pants (but decided last minute to change), and there was no photographer. Looking back on it now, it really didn’t even matter, because he proposed at one of our favorite places growing up and did it in a way that was special for both of us and I can’t imagine having anyone else there. So all in all, don’t worry about if your nails aren’t done or you’re wearing pj’s. As long as it’s special for both of you, that’s all that matters.
Size doesn’t matter.
If you log onto Pinterest and search “engagement rings,” all of the pictures that pop up will be of engagement rings that probably cost between $5,000 – $7,000 without the wedding band. For me, this painted a picture that a “proper” engagement ring should be as massive as Kim Kardashian’s because “I deserved it.” I am sad to admit that I bugged my boyfriend for months about buying a ring in that price range just so I could have my friends and family gawk at this large rock on my hand. Thank goodness he was more level headed than I was because I love the ring that he did pick out, simply because of the meaning behind it, not the amount of carats that it was. A ring is a one time buy. You can’t live in it and it doesn’t clothe or feed you. I didn’t see this at the time because I only saw the sparkle and I wanted the Pinterest-worthy diamonds. Now that doesn’t mean that if your significant other buys you an amazingly beautiful, large diamond that you should tell them to take it back. Enjoy whatever gift they give you and photograph the heck out of it. No matter the cut, clarity, color, or carat you are officially engaged and this gift is a symbol of the love you both have created.
Enjoy this time!
You will only be engaged for a short time in your life. Enjoy it! Take all of the perks that come with calling your significant other your fiance. You won’t get this time back. Whether your engagement is less than a year or over two years, take the time to revel in these moments, they go fast!
Go on a date.
Take time to step away from the wedding planning and go on a date where there is no wedding talk allowed. Focus on the reason you two are getting married in the first place. Go some place that’s quiet, or if that’s not you, then go some place that is crowded with people. Wherever you go or whatever you do make sure to shut off your phones! Taking time to reconnect in the craziness of wedding planning and giving yourselves time to step away from the multitude of people who have questions about dates, locations, vendors, and details, is going to help keep you sane and get you back to that place of pure joy in just being engaged to one another.
So there you go, that’s everything I’ve learned about what it’s like to be engaged. It’s a fun and crazy ride, just don’t lose sight of the reason you want to get married in the first place. Keep that spark between you both and don’t get caught up on the little things. The countdown for the wedding is on! Congrats again.